Nausea

Ya ya I know I said the other day that I had that moment of insanity when I though "Oh that is nice to be nauseous because that is a part of being pregnant," but now I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nausea is the thing that sucks ass! I can deal with fatigue because I am usually tired anyway, but feeling constantly sick and trying everything I know and have read to subside it -- with it not working, is not cool. Since Tuesday 4-24 I have been mad nauseous. I had to leave work early, barely get a nap then try and be nice to my kids while Cameron went to work. Granted my mother came over after an hour to help with dinner and clean a little, and then Cameron came back at 8 to put kids to bed. That was super nice. The only problem is that when I feel nauseous I don't want to talk because it makes it worse, and my kids did NOT understand that. They were running and dancing and moving all over me, when I tried to lay with them and watch a movie. I really started to get frustrated. I know that I was actually pretty calm for being stressed, sick and pregnant. So ya for me!!!!!!!!
As of today, Joyce took the kids last night for a sleepover and I knew I would finally get a little rest, but even though they were gone, I still had a hard time getting to sleep. When I woke up today, I tried to text my mother and ask her to get someone to come in because I feel like DOG CRAP, and she just said "the other girl is in school this morning, I can't do this right now and I need you." REALLY MOM?! I understand that I am a huge part of your help in working this building while you do the other ventures of professionalism, but I AM PREGNANT AND DON'T FEEL GOOD. You understood with Elija and Marion, how is it that this time there is not so much sympathy. Is it because it is my third kid (hopefully) and I should know the tricks, or because you depend on me to run this business when you're not here, you're just too stressed to care, or what??
It makes me feel like I'm nothing. My brother is a serious "meth head" and all his drug use and PTSD from the Army has literally made him loose his mind. He thinks that he is the center of the earth, he is the second coming, he will be rich but doesn't have to work, so on and so forth -- and he gets more leniency than I do being pregnant and carrying a miracle. He is no FUCKING miracle people. He is just another poor soul that got lost into drugs. And he gets more patience and understanding that I do?! I THINK NOT.
If you can't tell today I am very frustrated, mad and feeling very resentful. I have tried everything I know to curb this nausea (and am still working on some other tricks), and yet there is nothing!! I cried this morning because I didn't get the understanding I thought I would from anyone. Yes, it might just be the tornado of hormones, but really now?!?! Come on people. Maybe I am expecting too much because my other two pregnancies were full of people understanding, caring, and a lot of help.
Am I wrong for wanting some understanding this early in the pregnancy? I know that hopefully the nausea will go away within the second trimester, but what if it doesn't?! I am going to need some sort of understanding. I haven't told many people about being pregnant yet because I don't want to get any hopes up just in case I have another miscarriage. I told my husband (obviously), my mother and my BF Gina. I know that I would get more support from Gina at times than the other two. Isn't that sad?! Maybe it's because she is a DJ, her kids are grown, she understands more, or something. I always could count on her, but there are times when I don't want to bug her because I hate having to depend on other people a whole lot. Even though at this point I need a ton of support. I am pretty sure, I have no idea how to feel or how to get rid of this nausea but guess what??? I AM TRYING.
I also want to say that I have no idea what I wrote! Lol. I just started to vent.I want to go home, get in my sweats, and sleep or just rest. When I am lying down my nausea subsides a little but I can't just lay 24 hours a day until this goes away. But I tell you one thing, that is what I am going to do today until Cameron goes to work again. I FEEL LIKE SHIT, I WANNA THROW UP ON THIS KEYBOARD AND WANT TO SCREAM AT MY BROTHER AND PUNCH HIM IN HIS BALLS FOR GETTING MORE UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE HE IS A DRUG ADDICT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THIS! Again I am carrying a damn miracle of life, and granted the only person I really need behind me helping me is my husband (and trust me he really is), but wouldn't it be nice to have your mother as well.
Sorry mom if you ever read this. If it offends you just blame it on the pregnancy but it is NOT fair.
I'm done.